It is not easy picking up women from coffee shops especially if you have met for the first time. However, if you observe your environment keenly, you will be able to know girls that are open to talking and being friendly boosting your success rate. In addition, you will be able to know those that aren’t open to talking and you will keep away from them since you’ve minimal or no chances of hooking up with them.
If you want to pick up girls from a coffee shop, here is a recommended system:
1. Pick busy coffee shops
You will have high chances of meeting hot girls in busy coffee shops which are usually located in town centres. These coffee shops have high traffic and you need to be creative and attentive to the girls moving in and out of the coffee shop when getting your day game right. Just take your time to assess friendly girls before making an approach to avoid being turned down.
2. Take note of your surroundings
From the moment you enter the coffee shop, you need to observe everything to help you make a sound decision. Your main objective is to pick up a girl from the shop and to achieve this you need to be knowing the environment you are in. Therefore, you need to take note of every girl and what they are doing.
Depending with your assessment, you need to have the answers to the following questions:
- Are they alone or with a guy?
- Are they in group of other girls or they are alone?
- If they are alone, what are they doing?
- Do they look bored?
- Do they look interested in having company?
Depending with what the girl is doing, you will go ahead and approach her or you don’t because they may not be accommodative. You also need to look out for IOI’s (indications of interests) to make a move. Anytime you get any IOI, there is a possibility that you might end up being friends or spending time with the lady. Most girls who give IOI’s are the best to pick up because they’ve already shown interest in you.
3. Approach and talk to her
After spending considerable time understanding your surroundings, you will eventually select the girl you want to approach for the first time. You can either use the natural opener approach or the observational opener approach. The two approaches are different and you need to know which one is ideal for you. If you use either of the opener, you need to make your approach non-aggressive because it can ruin the chances of having a conversation. So you can bend or crouch down to her table or chair so that she can hear you and then say anything to her.
Here is an example of a natural PUA opener: ‘Excuse me… I saw you from over there and I decided to say hi because I think you are very cute.’ This will trigger a conversation where you can know her name, where she come from etc. Once you start talking, you just to be creative and engaging all through.
You can use this as an observational opener:‘Excuse me, sorry to bother you but I noticed you are reading (mention what she is reading). I have to ask, are you enjoying it?
To use this approach, you need to observe keenly because you engage in a conversation and you’ve less details about the topic. However, once you get it right, it is very useful and easy to use especially for girls who are talkative.
4. Build an initial neutral rapport
If she responds positively to your opener, you need to create an initial rapport where you become attractive and make her feel comfortable. It is not easy because you don’t know much about the girl but since you’ve a mission, you need to do it. You can ask her politely if you can sit down for some time you know each other. You need to show that you’ve limited time to create a rapport but don’t overdo it.
If you used a natural opener approach, you can then carry on by guessing things about her. You can relate her personality, job, style of character, what she seems to like etc. This might be a slow process because she might not be willing to give you answers because she does not know you much but if you are consistent and creative, she will break and answer.
On the other hand, in observational opener, you need to carry on from the same topic you had. If you were referring to a book, you can start discussing an interesting topic, character or chapter in the book. This will automatically trigger a conversation where you can weigh in. You need to be detailed and keen to use this approach. You can as well observe other things e.g. attire and relate to a career or job.
5. Drop the hook
After you engage her in your conversation, you need to drop a hook or multiple of them to see whether she is interested in you or she is just being polite. To drop a hook, you need to introduce topics which could trigger her into asking you questions. If she happens to ask you questions, you have just started winning and you need to connect even more
For observational approach, you can try something that would relate to what you introduced. For instance, ‘I actually met the author last year in London, he is very friendly…’ In a natural opener, talk about the things you might have in common so that you can relate. For instance, ‘Oh, so you are an Italian, I was planning to visit Rome this year …’
If she does not initiate any questions, give her some time and she will eventually. Don’t get upset or impatient because it could ruin your chances eventually.
6. Connect and break rapport
If the conversation is going on well, you need to break the rapport to create a connection with her. For instance, if you are discussing about a book, character or topic in a book, you need to be on the opposing side. For instance, if she says, ‘This is my favourite book to date…’ you need to counter the idea and say the opposite e.g. ‘Oh no, you are not serious! That book was terrible and I don’t like it.’ This will make her try to convince you that the book is great and you should reconsider your decision. Eventually creating an attraction because she will be looking for your approval and attention!
7. Make your excuses to leave
Even if you are not busy, you should make an excuse to leave when the interaction is on a high note so that you can plan another meeting. As an excuse, you can say, ‘Damn, I need to get back to work, I am late… we should meet again when you are free.’ She will agree to your proposal
8. Close her
You need to get a means of communication. Phone number is the best option but you can opt to use social media e.g. Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. This will give you an upper hand because she will go through your profile, see your pics and know more about you. In addition, through messages, you can chat and even ask for a number. You will also be able to know more about her through her posts and pic as well as the friends she has. With that, you will just need to be patient and consistent.
Dos and Don’t in coffee shop game
- Make an effort of engaging with as many girls as possible because it helps you practice while still having numerous options at any given time
- You should not approach a set of women unless you are at the top of your game. Start off with single girls before you step up to taking sets or even mixed sets.
- You should never be sexual in a coffee shop game. This will obviously be a turn off because you don’t know each other and a coffee shop is not an ideal place to be sexual. Save that for later and keep the conversation neutral
- Avoid being creepy! There is a difference between being persistent and creepy. If she is not into you, just read her signals and leave her alone.
Guest post by Aypa Dating Blog who will be having a special webinar on the topic of dating some time soon.